Date white women: Learning to talk about things that bother you

If you ask one hundred women, about eighty percent of them will tell you that men don't talk. They will just sit there and stare at you and maybe occasionally nod, but not really talk about all their thoughts and feelings. If you fall within this stereotype, you might want to reconsider your silent attitude, especially if you want to date white women.

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All relationships come with their own challenges, but interracial relationships can have an added level of difficulty, due to the different cultural background of the individuals. When it comes to solving these issues, communication is the key. And even though all women appreciate a good listener, you also need to do some talking, if you want your relationship to be built on strong foundation. This means talking about the things that bother you right from the start. When it comes to white women and black men dating, enthusiasm is often a big part of the equation. And when you are excited, it is easy to set aside what bothers you. But should you? Not really.

Why talk

Talking about all the little things that make you uncomfortable might seem counter-intuitive at the beginning of a relationship. After all, you want to make a good impression and show that you are ready to make sacrifices for this to work. But how are these sacrifices going to be appreciated, if your date doesn't know which things bother you? Don't get us wrong. It is not a matter of diplomacy, but a mater of being honest of what you want, what you need, what you like. After all, if you don't get the things that bother you out of your system, you will end up being grumpy and bitter and your partner won't even know why. White women looking for black men are well aware that there are going to be some adjustments that need to be done from both sides, so they are going to appreciate your honesty. And you should also encourage them to talk openly as well of course!

How to talk

Even though talking about your needs and feelings is crucial, doing it in a specific way can save you from misunderstandings. First of all, you need to make sure that it doesn't sound like you are accusing your partner. Try to focus on you and why certain things upset you. For example, instead of saying “I hate it that you leave our room in a mess” you can say “I find it hard to relax when our room is untidy”. Then you can go ahead and suggest a way to solve the issue as a team. For example “Maybe we could spend ten minutes every morning to tidy a bit”. This way she won't feel attached and is much more likely to help you achieve what you want/need.

Setting the limits

Being polite and trying not to accuse the other person is great, but some times when you date white women - and when white women date black men- you might find that there are substantial issues that have to do with your values that you want your partner to just accept. If, for example, you two have different religions, it is perfectly acceptable to make it clear that you won't accept preaching from her side. Some things are just not up for debate. As long as you make that clear from the start, you two should get along great!